Jonathan, a 30-year resident of a remote forested property situated within the Wasilla-Willow corridor, was ambushed by a pair of massive Sasquatch entities while executing nighttime supply runs from his vehicle to his cabin. Transporting an awkward bulk package of Costco toilet paper balanced on his left shoulder, Jonathan heard heavy brush-crashing seamlessly parallel his step just feet away inside the pitch-black thicket. Hit by an unprecedented wave of absolute dread, he left the package on the trail and retreated to secure a 10mm Glock pistol. Returning with a flashlight to drag the supply package by its plastic wrapping, an immense, gurgling respiratory pattern resembling a severe case of gurgly pneumonia echoed directly off his shoulder line.
Sweeping his beam across the dense black spruce trees, Jonathan made direct eye contact with a massive, 10-foot-tall entity that was methodically swaying behind a tree trunk, alternately peeking its right and left eyes from opposite sides of the branches. Jonathan fired a defensive round into the soil, triggering a deafening, localized scream as the entity exploded through the timber. Rushing inside his home, Jonathan armed himself with a .308 AR-10 rifle and a disposable camera to salvage his remaining supplies. While tracking his back-trail, he detected a secondary bipedal presence mimicking his exact foot-cadence step-for-step.
Firing a second warning round, a heavy grunt erupted from his immediate rear. Turning his rifle beam around, Jonathan was horrified to find a colossal, Shaggy, and greasy-matted haired creature—standing an estimated six feet tall even while fully squatted flat—actively hunched over his dropped package, systematically tearing open the plastic with giant fingers to steal individual rolls of toilet paper. Terrified by the creature's immense muscular mass and the realization that he was caught between a coordinated multi-creature perimeter unit, Jonathan executed a careful backwards retreat, subsequently collapsing inside his cabin in a state of severe, uncontrollable sobbing from the extreme adrenaline release.
